


It takes one to know one (angels)

by Kiraisacinnamonroll



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: M/M, a big kid, hydra what hydra, or - Freeform, pre hydra, the social and human side of life, wards really just a kid, who doesnt understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 15:54:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1784734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiraisacinnamonroll/pseuds/Kiraisacinnamonroll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz wont just let it go when Ward returns from leave. He wants to help.</p><p>EDITED 03/06/2015</p>
            </blockquote>





	It takes one to know one (angels)

**Author's Note:**

> first posted AOS fic, one-shot. characterization is probably rubbish and characters are a little ooc but I will explain at end.

Fitz counts the days until ward gets back and they can go on a mission or play a game.

Ward is gone for 4 days.

Then there’s a problem when Ward does return, there’s neither a hint of a smile nor is there an attempt at pleasantries. As soon as Ward is able to escape to his bunk he does. He skips dinner and proceeds to spend his time in the workout room. He spends the better part of the next day in there going at the innocent punching bag as well.

Ward is so caught up in what he’s doing he notices no one and nothing, trying to take all his emotions out on a punching bag.

Coulson merely offers a small infinitely sad smile and when FitzSimmons and Skye ask him to tell them what's going on he merely says “its Wards business, just let him sort his head out” but that’s not good enough and Fitz refuses to let it go.

Skye is the one who finally coaxes ward out (Fitz is just a little jealous of the fact it hadn’t been him) but it all goes to hell five days later when Coulson dutifully informs him his father passed away that morning, he makes sure to tell the specialist it was peaceful and quick. Ward shows nothing, only nods and thanks Coulson. There’s no grief, no denial or anger, not even acceptance. He’s back in the workout room within 2 hours.

It’s the middle of the night and Fitz is watching ward from the lab, he’s not sure when he decides enough is enough but he finds himself standing in the cargo hold unsure what to say.

“You know I used to dream about my dad coming home. I’d wonder if he was dead, I grieved for him and everything” the engineer speaks up to grab Ward's attention but he barely seems to register the words. However he does grunt so Fitz calls it a success. 

(He’d like to hear ward grunt like that in a different place under different circumstances but that was a fantasy)

“How are you taking it?” the answer was obvious but he asks anyway “fine” it’s a blatant lie. “Is that where you were? visiting your dad when you were gone. Coulson said you were supposed to be gone for longer” the Scot moves on.

It takes a few minutes for a reply but it comes eventually, as he knew it would.

(He’s quite proud he knows Ward will answer him)

“I shouldn’t have. Shouldn’t have tried. Shouldn’t have gone near him. I promised myself I wouldn’t go near him him, or talk to him, or even listen ever again, no matter what. I shouldn’t have gone back there” the specialist barely looks when he says it and he is painfully aware of how personal this was for Ward.

“What happened” He keeps his voice quiet and inviting “I hit him” Ward pauses after the confession “I thought he’d actually changed but then he proved he was still an asshole, the same bastard who’d helped make life hell and I hit him. The first time I ever hit him and he’s fucking dying. God knows there was a whole load of times I should of and this was the first, and only, out of them all. I shouldn’t of even given him a chance” the hits grow more forceful and loud until he stills the bag yet it looks more like he's dependent on it holding him up.

Fitz acts on a natural impulse and rushes to Ward's side, taking his arm to help guide him to a chair. As soon as they were both sat down he placed a comforting hand on the mans shoulder. “It’s okay” the attempt at comfort is most likely wasted and all he can feel is the tremors shaking Ward's frame.

“I seized up. I stepped into that damn house after all these years and I could barely breathe and then when I saw him I just seized up, I felt like I was a kid again. Like I was paralyzed. He didn’t even look ill, I thought for a moment that he was faking, he seemed too…15 years and he hadn’t changed at all, I felt sick. And he asked me for forgiveness, he actually wanted me to forgive him. Me. He was repenting on his deathbed and I couldn't do it. I just couldn’t. I didn’t- I don’t care what happened to me but I couldn’t forgive what happened to Dana and Rosie. It wasn’t fair to them. And he just went back to how I remembered him like a switch had flipped. Like he expected doing what he had always done would still scare me. Then he tried to touch me and I just reacted and he was-he was on the floor. He was having a heart attack and I couldn’t just let him die, even after everything. He only had ‘bout a week or so left to live, he was always late to everything, even after everything I hoped it wouldn’t be peaceful for him, just like it hadn’t been for Dana” His words kept coming as if he couldn't stop and Fitz wasn’t going to stop him either. (Fitz’ very own fallen angel)

“Sometimes we’d like to believe someone has changed but sometimes it’s just too late” the young engineer tells him softly “I haven’t felt so completely helpless or scared like that since I was a kid” He admits. “How did you get out of there?” Fitz asks curious (his brave fallen angel) “Juvie and John got me out of there” it's more of a sigh than an answer “I stole a car and drove home from military school to burn it all down. My sister, she gave me a call over something that had happened back there and I just saw red.”

Fitz cards his fingers through wards hair until the man is peacefully leaning against him, when he’s relaxed enough and the shaking stops Fitz leads him upstairs to the lounge area and they fall asleep on the couch.

When Coulson finds the two curled against each other on the couch the next morning, with Fitz’ fingers still threaded in Ward's dark hair and still subconsciously petting it soothingly.

Ward is the most peacefully relaxed they’d ever seen him and looked so much younger with all his worries and burdens gone.

Coulson leaves them there, smiling a knowing smile to himself; he warns the other three to be quiet and not to wake them up. Not that May made a lot of noise. Skye of course snaps a few pictures giggling with Simmons in between the cooing.

Fitz lets his hand slip off Ward's shoulder as the specialist walked towards the coffin in the actually empty room. Ward's sister Rosie had already been, given a nod to the coffin and left. Ward had been persuaded to go, the last chance he had to say goodbye. There were three of them there in total; Skye had insisted on coming along as moral support for her SO. It took Ward far more time than it should have to reach the coffin but they were neither surprised nor judgmental. They both took seats at the back (Fitz doesn’t take his eyes off of his angel)

“You know, I would’ve thought your darling golden boy, the prodigal son, your protege, would turn up. But then he was just shit scared of you in life and never had a hint of respect for you. He’s in prison now and he’s never getting out. The only child who forgave you didn’t say a word; you let your youngest die by your eldest's hand. And I’m the only one left. The one who hated you for so long. Who still hates you. Who refused to forgive you yet wouldn’t let you die. If there is a heaven then you’re certainly not there. No amount of repenting could get you up there. Not a chance in hell, which is where you probably are.” He swallows thickly and glances around.

“Look, where are all your cronies now? The power you tried to gain your whole life and what have you got to show for it? Nothing and no one, an empty room. You chose running with the Irish mob, drinking and trying to be a tough guy over family you had, over the kids who only wanted to make you proud. When I was younger all I ever wanted was for you to be proud of me, for you to say you loved me. That’s why I translated for you, picked up packages and delivered them. It wasn’t fear, not that I wasn't terrified of you, but I always just wanted you to be a father, like the other dads who actually cared about their kids. I guess I learned to compartmentalize my feelings a long time ago. When you preferred beating us because you didn’t want a ‘poof’ as a son. You wouldn’t let any son of your's be gay, wouldn’t let us be anything but the straightest manliest guy doing a man’s job. Is that why you let Maynard kill Dana, because you thought he was gay? Or did you just want fewer mouths to feed; after all you almost let Maynard drown me afterwards. I hated the proud look in your eye when I fought him after Dana died. I didn’t want you to be proud because of something like that” his voice shook “remember when I was little, you bought me that bike and everyone in my class at school were so jealous but they didn’t know I couldn’t ride it, they didn’t know I couldn’t ride a bike. I begged you to teach me, I begged you and you smacked me around and said you were too busy. So I learnt the hard way.”

Ward's voice hardened (his strong yet broken angel) “I learnt the hard way. On my own. Like when I had to work to earn money, I had to work to make sure Rosie and Dana didn’t starve, I had to work to make sure they had clothes. I had to raise them both as best I could because otherwise they might have turned out like Maynard. I had to take the beatings and not let them know. I raised them on my own, I was barely any older than them and I had to do everything you should have done for them. Christ, I even had to fight off their damn bullies then take shit off you for getting into trouble. I kept them out of trouble, away from the cops, taught them how to swim and ride a bike and tie their shoelaces. I’d had to learn it all on my own, I still have the scars to show it” his breath hitched.

“When I agreed to come and see you I thought you had changed. After all, the last time I saw you, you were trying to have me locked up in a cell for years. I hoped, I foolishly hoped against my better judgement, that it was true. That you really had changed, that maybe, however stupid it was, you’d say you had loved us. But no. You just wanted forgiveness in a last ditch attempt at repenting. I shouldn’t have expected any different, any more or less. And as soon as I refused you were back to the coward who had been scared of his 10 year old son, scared of his children. Strangely enough the words, they always stung the most, besides your rare acknowledgement of my existence and continued living. It was like stepping back 15 years” Ward went quiet.

He finally speaks again after a few minutes “You know something. When you used to say I didn’t deserve friends, when you made sure I wasn’t allowed them or had any…I made a dent in your car each time, I'd hot wire your car and steal a beer out the fridge and you never figured out it was me” he shook his head slightly “I’m not sorry. I don’t regret hitting you, not after everything you did. You deserved it. I still don’t understand how no matter how old I got merely stepping in the same room as you made me feel helpless, scared.” 

Ward took a deep breathe approaching the coffin, the silence stretching for a few minutes.

“I was prepared to hate you. God I wanted to hate you. I’ve always told myself I do, always told myself I loathed you but I was wrong.” He let out a deep breathe “I pity you. In the end you were left with nothing, you achieved nothing. Actually no” he paused "You made us survivors, that’s what you did, You made us stronger. God I pity you so much” and he was done (his brave angel).

Fitz takes his hand when they leave, a silent support.

(Ward doesn’t pull away)

No one says anything on the way back to the bus, they don’t mention what had been said.

It’s when they arrive at the bus and are stepping off the cargo ramp into the hanger that Ward does it.

“Fitz” he turns Fitz around gently and then Ward's mouth is on his. It’s tender and cautious and when Ward pulls away he looks almost childlike. So worried and scared, a little confused on why Fitz was still silent as if he expected him to be angry.

Skye is cheering and Simmons is pouting and handing her some money, Coulson is sporting a small pleased smile and May's wearing an exasperated look as if they'd taken far too long and she had predicted it ages ago.

Ward is looking more than a little panicked now (“I don’t panic, ever”) and he goes to back away and give him space but Fitz grabs a handful of his shirt. “Don’t you dare” the Scot growls and brings their mouths back together again.

Fitz will never let his fallen angel go again. He will help fix his beautiful angels wings and never have to let him go. After all it takes an angel to know one.

**Author's Note:**

> Ward is a little ooc, especially in the telling Fitz what happened, but the reason I did him like that is because he is emotionally drained and physically exhausted which is making him more open. and yes the funeral/wake was inspired by Hollyoake's. he's quite caught up in his head and what he's feeling so more or less forgets Skye and Fitz being at the back.


End file.
